Committed but not Committed

In any relationship, there is bound to be some form of commitment one way or the other. We are expected to sacrifice for the relationship to grow and become better. It would be surprising if there is a relationship where there is no form of sacrifice and the two parties are all trying to avoid every form of sacrifice. Commitment is important for two people to stay together and more importantly when it is a romantic relationship. So there must be some form of commitment in any romantic relationship. What are some of the forms of commitment?

In a relationship, there is bound to be some financial commitment. Financial commitment is a way of proving that you love your significant other. Love gives and love will spend on the object of love. We show love to our object of love. It would be surprising to find any relationship where there is no form or display of love and affection financially. One way or the other, one would have to spend money on the object of love. Taking the person to the restaurant and paying is a way of showing love. It would be strange to find a young man in the Ghanaian culture who takes a lady out and expect the lady to pay part of the cost of the outing. You plan for such outings and that includes money. But if that gentleman request that you foot part of the bill, then it shows that he is not really interested in the relationship and he is just taking you for the ride. So there should be some form of financial commitment, buying call credits and internet data to communicate with the one you love is part of the cost you incur. Occasionally, (like Valentine day and birthdays) buying gifts to surprise one another also makes the relationship grow and proves that you love each other. There should be exchange of gifts. These are some of the financial commitments you bear when you are in a romantic relationship.

But there is a limit to the amount of money to spend on the object of love. In as much, it is important to commit some financial resources to the relationship, it is unwise to spend huge sums of money on the person. For example, you do not want to buy the current version of a smart phone (iPhone 12 Pro Max) just because she want to change her phone. But if it becomes necessary that she get a new phone due to an issue with her current phone and you are in the position to do that, yes love gives, you can help with that. But it would not be the best to be spending so much money on him/her just because you decided to spend time with each other to know yourselves better. So the clause is not to spend too much and sometimes go to the extent of borrowing to impress the other person. Yes, some people can even borrow to spend on the person they love. Remember that there is no free lunch, if the person is spending so much before you say I do, he/she may have an agenda and sooner or later may execute that agenda.

Another form of commitment may be time. To make the relationship grow, you need to spend time with each other. This does not mean that you spend all the 24hours with the person. Spending time does not mean that you do that to the detriment of your job or academic life. Some people decide to spend all the time with the person and even forget that they are students or forget that they are employees and must work to get paid. So spending is important but this should not affect other aspects of our lives.

Some ladies immediately arrogate to themselves the position of a wife and begin to act as such. As a lady, do not start doing wifey duties. Some ladies go to the extent of washing and cooking for the person regularly. The keyword here is regularly. If once in a while it becomes necessary to cook for him or even wash, why not. But when these things become your daily routine, it is called over-commitment which is dangerous. You can do all these things when you finally say I do to him. So if he want those services, then let him go and pay the dowry and do the needful, otherwise, hold on to these services until the needful is done.

Another form of commitment is the decision to prove your love by having sex. Many people have been deceived into thinking that by merely having sex with the person solidifies the relationship. This is a lie from the pit of hell. Sex before marriage can destroy the relationship. Do not prove your love by having sex with the person before the marriage. When you get your body involved in the relationship, you set yourself up for disappointment and broken heart. I know I am treading on dangerous grounds but that is the fact. When you have sex, you destroy the foundation of trust before the marriage that is if the relationship eventually leads to marriage. Keep your pants up and do not allow anybody pull them down to prove that you love them.

So, commit but do not over-commit some things. Commit your time, commit some amount of money but, do not commit high expenditures and do not commit your body. Stay pure in that relationship. God will help you. God bless you.